Day 17

***Editorial Note: No joke. I fell asleep iPad in hand last night mid-post. So this is technically Day 17's post, but not actually posted...or completed until the next morning. I've left the original conclusion of the post intact simply for the entertainment it will provide to some of you.***

Brooke had a business meeting a few towns over this evening, so I was flying solo for the evening. I helped M&M with their homework and studying, got dinner ready (translated: called Papa John's), had everyone out the door to Bible study and then got to do the bedtime routine with Sophie. We read Annie and the Wild Animals and then the story of Jonah out of The Jesus Storybook Bible, which by the way is pretty great! I'm not typically a fan of those books that make up the children's story bible genre (for a couple different reasons I'll not get into here, though feel free to ask sometime if you're curious), but I really appreciate this particular book. Plus, Sophie loves to read her bible story each night. What parents who are believers wouldn't be thrilled with that? I'm tangent-ing right off the cliff here. Sorry, back on track. The other part of bedtime routine with Sophie is prayer time. There are different variations of how we do this, but in some order, form or fashion parent and child both pray. Occasionally, it's difficult. Sophie might try to get only the adult to pray, or negotiate before starting the number of specific things she has to say before she can say "in Jesus name. Amen!" Sometimes, she gets little distracted (okay a LOT) and just drifts off into another conversation entirely or starts singing a random song. My favorite experience is when she get's stuck in a loop and starts repeating the same prayer items, especially when she says at some point "Oops, I already said that" mid prayer and then just keeps right on going. Most of the time however, it's the most precious part of my day.

Tonight while Sophie and I were praying, I noticed a couple of interesting things. First, while I was praying Sophie stopped me several times to ask questions about what I was saying. At first, I felt myself wanting to be frustrated by that, like she was trying to be disruptive of or disrespectful toward our prayer time together, but after the second or third time I realized that wasn't it at all. She wasn't being intentionally rude or trying to keep me from praying. She was listening and there were things that I prayed about that she wasn't sure about or didn't understand and wanted to make sure she knew what I was praying for. She was participating in my prayer. It wasn't just my conversation with God, this was our conversation. She was involved and felt just fine speaking up when she felt like she needed to clarify something to stay involved. Obviously, this mian akl (uhoh! I think someone fell asleep about here) Sorry, as I was trying to say...obviously, this kind of interaction might not work out so well in a public prayer, or in prayer gathering among adults probably would be a little rude or obnoxious. However, the spirit of this experience still applies to any prayer time, alone or in a group. When we pray we're sharing a conversation that requires thoughtful, active engagement. Just mindlessly speaking or repeating the same patterns or words without actively considering their meaning or your intent in speaking them really misses the point.

As I think back, I probably have a pretty developed pattern for my "prayer's with Sophie." Those patterns probably come from a noble intent, wanting to teach Sophie the right Spirit for and important aspects of prayer. Unfortunately, I think I've unconsciously created a pattern that seemed "age and corresponding attention span appropriate" to do that teaching for me, rather than actively modeling healthy prayer for her when we pray. Truthfully, a lot of that probably connects to the fact that I wasn't particularly capable of consistently modeling healthy prayer without that pattern because as I've shared before, prayer has been an area of great struggle for me lately. You know what??? I'm taking a little encouragement from this encounter. I think as a result of the intentional focus and work we've devoted together to prayer, Sophie heard something different in my prayer last night. I think part of the reason Sophie's interruptions occurred is because I was praying out loud with her about more specific, immediate concerns and thoughts than I usually do in those times. I prayed for people in particular whose names aren't on my standard list of "must-mentions" during prayer times with the family. Remembering it this morning,  it seems I was (unbeknownst to me at the time) mixing it up a little in my prayer. I believe God is making some changes inside me through this season concentrating on prayer. I'm grateful for that. However incrementally minor these changes may be, I think its going to produce positive results. For me and those, like Sophie, whom I am blessed to pray with.

I'll post later today about another interesting thought that arose during my prayer time with Sophie last night. This ended up longer than I expected. So, I'll include that in my official "Day 18" post later on. Have a great day everyone.

Pray continually. Pray for each other.